Proposing to the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with may not be as easy as it sounds. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event that you want to make memorable, but every aspect of it presents so many choices! How do you know you’ll do it right? How do you choose The Ring? Here are some simple tips to help you keep the moment as special as your wife-to-be.
The Answer
It may seem strange to start here, but the reason is simple: if you don’t have a pretty good idea of her answer, you might want to wait a while. Conversations about kids, careers, religion, politics, or any other area of your life where compatibility is important should have happened already. Finding out you’re passionately polar-opposite on a major subject after the proposal (or worse, after the wedding) is not a good thing.
Believe it or not, jewelry companies would prefer that you both are more certain than not, to cut down on chances that you might have a bad experience that you’ll subconsciously associate with our products. 🙂
The Place
If your girlfriend is an introvert or not into public displays of affection, popping the question on the JumboTron in a major sporting arena is probably not a good idea. The most important thing is to choose a place and time that’s special to her or both of you, not just you.
The Words
The amount of planning that goes into the words depends on you: are you better talking off the top of your head or do you need to write it down and practice so you’re not babbling through your special moment? However you do it, keep it simple but heartfelt. Tell her why you want her to marry you, why you can’t imagine a life without her, why you want her by your side forever.
The Ring
Ah, the ring. The memories of the whole proposal may become a bit fuzzy, but the ring is forever. You may be forgiven for the words and the place not being perfect if you present the right ring. Should you let her choose the ring? Should you get her friends to help you choose? How do you pick one perfect diamond ring from the millions of options? As with choosing the right place and time, knowing your girlfriend’s taste is vital. Does she wear rings of any kind? If so, what style does she prefer – simple, ornate, unusual? Does she prefer a particular gem or color of gem? You can actually scout out her preferences by taking advantage of situations; are friends getting married? Casually ask her what she thought about the ring. Ask your girlfriend to help you shop for a birthday present for your mom or sister (jewelry, of course — such as beautiful earrings), then while surfing the internet or browsing the counters, “accidentally” find yourself at the diamond rings, making some light comment like “oh, wow, that’s a lot for a guy to choose from! How in the world would you know which one to pick?” If she plays along, your task will be easier; if she doesn’t play along but just walks away, you might want to take the hint that her answer may not be the one you want!
Marriage Proposal – Sylvie Style
If you’re not good at reconnaissance or if the task is just too overwhelming, this new service from Occapi may be for you. You can select up to six rings and let her choose or get other important people in your life to help you. These rings are on the pricier side, though, and one thing you don’t want to do is overspend. Also remember that the size of the diamond (which often influences the price the most) is not the only thing you should consider. Take a quick course on the 4Cs to help you get a better idea of the whole diamond picture. Once you decide which C is most important to you and your bride-to-be, you can narrow down your choices considerably.
You could also surreptitiously browse through her Pinterest boards, if she uses that image-sharing service. If she has a “wedding” or “jewelry” themed board, it could give you a very clear picture about what styles she prefers in case you’re aiming to surprise her.
You also need to consider her occupation or her lifestyle. Some styles or settings can be obtrusive or even annoying in certain situations. Do her hands get dirty frequently? An intricate design may be difficult to clean thoroughly. Does she work near machinery or does she need to reach into small spaces? You may want to put a large diamond on her hand to proclaim your love to the world, but if she’s constantly taking it off because it’s in the way all you’re proclaiming is that you didn’t really think it through. It could even be painful!
Bottom line: your proposal – and the ring – should be about the two of you, especially her. Don’t try to copy famous proposals or “out-do” a friend’s special moment. And although this approach apparently worked for this guy who faked his death in a melodramatic proposal, we don’t recommend doing anything even remotely similar. Be sure matrimony is what both of you want, be creative, and be yourself. And be happy! Congratulations!
